If your skin could talk (ft Ray Kon)
by CRSWoodferns
Summary: [ONESHOT] Pretty self explanatory. What would happen if your skin could talk? Ray wakes up one fine day to discover his skin being rather chatty. Assumption to be made that the human skin can talk without having vocal chords or a mouth. RH (Random Humour) fic.


**Hello, guys! Guess who's here with _yet_ another oneshot (because let's be real, I'm absolute shit at updating my stories).**  
**And yep, I've been watching wayy too many YouTube videos. _And who would have been a better person(..?) for this randomness than a character with a personality as charming as Ray Kon himself!_ *insert dramatic gasp here* *also insert extreme fangirl squeals in the background***

**...Okay, I'll stop. So, without further ado, let's get on with the vid- story. On with the story.**

**GO READ!**

* * *

Ray opened his eyes to the sound of the alarm clock. Normally, he would grumble and aim for the bane-of-all-mornings 'SNOOZE' button, accompanied by an almost incomprehensible "Five more minutes!". But not today.

Instead, Ray felt fresh, rejuvenated; for once waking up like a "morning person". He smiled as he felt the fresh beams of sunlight caress his face, welcoming him to a bright new morning.

"I guess **this **is how you're supposed to wake up," he said to himself. "I feel so energized, and I haven't even slept in!"

Slowly, he got to his feet and stretched his limbs. "This feels so good, it's almost unreal." He chuckled mentally, and made his way to the bathroom. "Too good to be true, that sort of thing."

The moment he opened the door, his eyes caught his reflection in the mirror. While a part of him was smugly cheering and saying, "Told ya, too good to be true...", the rest of him stared dumbfounded at the reflecting surface.

There, right in the middle of his forehead, looking very smug indeed - a gargantuan pimple.

"What the... _**WHY!?**_"

"Oh heyy! Do you mean this?"

Ray's eyes widened at the sound. He looked around frantically. "Who.. who said that?"

"What? Don't be a moron. I did. Your skin, of course," said the voice. It was high pitched and rather sharp, slightly comical and cartoon-like.

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Your_ skin_. You know, this thing that covers your entire being. _Ever heard of it_?"

"No, I meant.. how can you TALK?" Ray was flabbergasted. Imagine waking up one day and hearing voices claiming to be your skin!

"Umm.. the way I'm doing now I guess?"

"Maybe this is one of those dreams where you think you've woken up but you actually haven't. How do I _actually_ wake up, though?"

_**"CUT IT OUT**_!"

Ray winced. The shrill voice seemed to come less from inside his head, and more from his ear now. "Okay, okay... what do you want?"

"Ouch. I'm hurt. Didn't you call for me?"

"Sorry?"

"Apology accepted!" The voice seemed taunting and too sweet; almost sarcastic.

"I wasn't apologising to you, I was-" There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Ray?" Max's sleepy voice called out. "Are you okay in there? I heard you shout."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Stubbed my toe, that's all." His eyes widened as he realised that he wasn't dreaming at all!

Ray waited until he no longer heard Max's retreating footsteps. Then cautiously. careful to keep his voice down, he spoke the voice that claimed to be his skin. "How are you talking to me? Skin has one job -" The 'skin' scoffed at this, so Ray quickly amended, "-many jobs, but as far as I know, speaking isn't one."

"I'll give you three choices: A, You've gone insane and are hearing voices; B, human skins can actually talk but the amount of BS that usually spews out your species' mouth makes us reconsider trying to; C. This is all in your head." Ray, however, was too confused to respond, so the 'skin' continued talking, "Anyway, were you talking about this pimple? I think it's only fair that you get one, after all, the way you keep treating me."

"What do you mean?"

"After all I do for you, cover your organs, protect you from infections, maintain your body temperature, just keeping you alive... generally speaking. And you don't have the decency to wash your face twice a day!"

"...what's that got to do with the pimple?"

Bad choice. Ray knew that soon enough, because his 'skin' went off into a full-on rant, raging about its mistreatment and being taken for granted.

"You're literally suffocating me! Don't try to act ignorant, because that's not going to work. So, of COURSE I had to do _**something**_ in my defence. Guess what did I do? I revolted. Take all of that oily, greasy muck back; I don't want it anywhere on my surface. Also,_ thank you so much _for all of those chips you ate last night. I can still feel that in my pores. And when you stay up all night watching all that GOT Narcos rubbish - I feel like I'm being punched in the face!"

There was an awkward pause.

The skin, clearly annoyed, abruptly spoke, "What?"

"I'm sorry?" said Ray.

"You should be."

Another pause followed.

"Listen, I'll stop talking while you get dressed, and then I'll tell you all there is to know about proper skincare. Deal?"

"Sure, but.. what about the pimple?"

"Look, I'd say that I'm sorry about that; but here's the thing - I don't care..? You'll just have to DEAL WITH IT."

"...I don't even know why I asked."

* * *

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

Barely had Ray set a foot out of the house that Skin had screeched with indignation. Annoyed himself, Ray shot back with an equally exasperated, "What did I do now?"

"SUNSCREEN! Do you not know how harmful and plain uncomfortable direct sunlight is? DID I MENTION that I hate melanin, but I'm forced to pump it out because you constantly have to get a tan!"

At this point, Ray had had enough of being constantly nagged by Skin. An anime vein appeared on his temple. "Look," he said, "I'd say that I'm sorry about that; but here's the thing - I don't care..? You'll just have to DEAL WITH IT."

"...using my words against me, are you?"

"Please don't be tiresome," he finished with a sigh. It was as if Skin had a mind of its own.

* * *

"Drink some water, will you?" Skin piped up, yet again.

Ray knew better than responding to Skin's constant whinging and pretended not to listen.

"I SAID, drink some water, will you? I'm all dry and parched. Why don't you ever apply moisturizer? Besides, drinking water is also good for your kidneys and it-"

"UGH, FINE!" He screeched, causing Tyson and Max to look at him quizzically.

"What was that?" Tyson asked, furrowing his brows.

Ray smiled sheepishly. "Nothing." He hastily added, "I'll just go get some water."

The two waited until Ray went out, and it was Max who commented, "I wonder what's up with him."

* * *

Skin, surprisingly, had been silent for quite some time. Ray only wished that his skin, absurd as the idea sounded, wasn't plotting his untimely demise.

"Skin? Why are you so quiet?"

"I've been thinking," said Skin.

"Okay, and..?"

"Have you ever wondered? Potatoes have skins. You have a skin. Therefore, you are a potato."

"...Excuse me while I try to find an appropriate reaction."

* * *

"Can I tell you something?" Skin spoke up suddenly. "But mind you, it's a secret - Don't tell anyone!"

"Yeah?"

Skin lowered its voice, even though no one other than Ray could hear it, and quietly whispered, "There's a skeleton currently living inside you."

Ray choked on his own saliva.

* * *

Ray was faced with a rather intriguing question for Skin. "I was just wondering," he said, "What's your favourite season?"

"I hadn't really thought about that before.." Skin mused. "I hate winter because it's cold and it makes me all cracked and itchy. I hate summer because I look like a blushing pug when it gets too hot; not to mention all the sweaty, humid discomfort. I don't have anything against autumn - except that all those jumpers and cardigans are a bit itchy, it's like wearing cacti. But I like spring. Yep, spring's the best season there is."

"What about rains then? Do you like rains?"

"I'm all good, unless I get mud all over my surface. Or have plastic from those raincoat-things sticking to me. Or smell like a wet cat. Or get cold from all the water gushing down as if the skies have endured a poor plumbing job. And I think we've already established that I hate cold."

* * *

"Can you do something about my dandruff?"

Ray was standing in front of the mirror, finger-combing his long black hair. "I look like I've walked in from a snowstorm."

"Sure, if you wash you hair twice a week with ACTUAL shampoo and NOT smear on dry shampoo EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. That stuff's revolting."

"Umm... Guess that's a no then."

* * *

"Run faster!" Kai commanded as the Bladebreakers ran laps around Tyson's dojo. "Two more laps!"

"You say that now," Tyson panted, "but you'll still make us run five more after that."

At this, Max chuckled, and Ray turned his head to face Tyson, while still running. Not exactly the best idea, because the very next moment he tripped over a tree root and went crashing down, hitting his jaw on the ground and managing to gash his knee open.

"I am so sorry, Ray!" Tyson crouched down next to his fallen friend, who was still a bit dazed from the sudden unexpected fall.

"That's an ugly bruise." Max commented, pointing to Ray's jaw. "Can I touch it?"

"Max, no," Kai said firmly. "Ray, wash the wound first, then we'll apply some antiseptic on it."

"Skin?" Ray whispered curiously as he walked away, wondering what its response would have been.

"Shut up, it hurts really bad."

"Okay... sorry."

Skin made no attempt to answer him, neither that day, nor the following ones. Two weeks later, however, as Ray unwrapped the white gauze bandage off his previously-injured knee, Skin spoke to him again.

"Hey," it said. "How's the knee?"

"Better now. The wound's healed completely, and it doesn't hurt at all!" Ray exclaimed. "You did this!"

"I know." It paused and hesitated, before speaking again, "I think this will do. It's slightly more flexible, so it'll be more damage resistant. It's not like the previous layer, the original, but..." Skin trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words.

"I won't take you for granted again. Thank you."

* * *

**And that's it!**

**I really enjoyed writing this one; plus, it's been such a long time since I've had any writing done, I actually had to check my previous stories for the "Go read!" part that comes at the beginning XD**

**Hope you like this story as much as I did, I dare say even more, and if you enjoyed this so much that you could read it every day for the rest of your lives (just kidding...) perhaps leave a review as well?**

**And as always, keep sending in the love!**

**CRSWoodferns~**


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